508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
