I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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