I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
