It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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