there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
