Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize