Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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