Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
