but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
