This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
