i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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