i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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