so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize