fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize