barbara walters just said penis...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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