You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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