and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
