Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
