U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In other news, I just burned my penis
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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