I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
