i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
