Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
