You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
