Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize