Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
