Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
