it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
