he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
