I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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