It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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