So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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