so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
