AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
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I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize