I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
