Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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