He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Green mimosas i think yes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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