Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
