i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dicks are not precious.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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