this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
