I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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