Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
