He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
