He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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