I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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