dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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