Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
