Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize