let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
