You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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