is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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