You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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