question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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