so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Text me some of your sweat
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
