apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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