office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
