Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
