I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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