I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
