please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
