Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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