You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
