This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
