break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He better not be in your backpack
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
